~ by Michael J. Carroll

Why did C.S. Lewis never convert to Roman Catholicism? C.S. Lewis instinctively grasped the concept of the preternatural, the place between heaven and Earth where souls are won and lost. He quintessentially understood that there was a battle in the nether world. As Lewis progressed along a path to what he hoped would one day lead him to the beatific vision, it may be fair to speculate that his understanding between the preternatural realities in his own life, and that of the great Roman Catholic saints and Doctors of the Church was not always one and the same. How many of us can tell the same story? It is not just the story of the Jews of the Old Testament. It is also the story of man since the Resurrection. It is the fundamental mystery of man’s suffering, which is the consequence of the great war between Heaven and Earth.

Suffering is the answer to why many do not understand Roman Catholicism. In the Apocrypha and the works of St. Francis de Sales we are given a vivid and chilling vision of the stinging realities of the lives of those who strive for sainthood. It is a rough path where the Christian treads through the purification by fire and the purgation of the soul. It is the path of spiritual childhood to illumination spoke of in The Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross. It is a path beset by fire and darkness on either side. As we are told in the apocalyptic work of St. Alphonsus de Luguori entitled Natural Calamities, Divine Threats & the Four Gates of Hell, God wants all to win their martyr’s palm (whether it be white or red), but He does not always give unlimited chances and the ultimate calamity may fall at any moment which will make any one of us stumble if we persist in our iniquity.

Lewis’ friends state that in later life, after a period of bereavement, he transitioned into a period of admitting that he did not feel that his more simplistic answers could account for the kaleidoscope of facets of the Christian faith. The two major bereavements in his life, the latter a calamity he never recovered from, opens a window into Lewis trying to grasp the intangible mysteries of the nether world. Not the nether worlds of Earthly myth, but the divine reality and truth of the preternatural world between Heaven and Earth where our spiritual warfare is won and lost. It is in the realm of suffering where our understanding of salvation can be understood, and it is often one of the fundamental stumbling blocks to converting to the Roman Catholic faith

The intangible mystery of man’s suffering is where we can possibly find answers to Lewis being unable to ultimately convert to Roman Catholicism. Through his book, Grief Observed, we see that Lewis underwent the torment of Job. He was only one small step away from conversion to the Catholic faith. Surely Lewis’ life was the same as the vast majority of us who fail to see the “Divine Threats of God”, and are unable to react when calamity strikes, such as in the death of a loved one. These are the fundamental moments of life when our faith is tested to the core. It is at these moments when our understanding of the transcendent must be piercingly vivid, so that we can overcome the torment that pervades Job in the Old Testament.

The great problem we all face, however, is that suffering is an intangible mystery. It is a mystery which we will never understand in this life. Man strives for answers in the here and now, but God veils the answers from us. He does, though, leave us the testimony of the great saints. They give us a window into their life of suffering. They give us a glorious road map to the eternal. After all, Christ Himself says all those who wish to save their life must carry their cross.  Suffering well and carrying our cross is the fundamental key to our salvation. We suffer through iniquity, trial, and sometimes even calamity. Only when we finally amend our lives does the suffering begin to be overcome. Finally, suffering is replaced by true love for God and our neighbor—suffering is finally conquered by love. Suffering is also the story of the two thieves at the crucifixion. One rebels and loses his martyr’s palm, but the other is resigned to his suffering. He sees that his suffering is deserved whilst recognising that Christ’s suffering is the ultimate injustice. The good thief carries his cross and in that moment does not flinch, but turns to Christ. He wins his martyr’s palm. In that moment the first canonized saint is created, even before he sheds his mortal coil and beholds the beatific vision.