~ by Hannah Skipper

Lance, the newest Hollywood heartthrob and up-and-coming megastar, stepped out of his plush Hollywood trailer and, taking a deep breath of dry, dusty Midwest drought air, wrinkled his nose.

“How quickly I forget the feedlots,” he muttered, hopping over a crusty cow patty as he bounded down the steps, “when I can spirit myself away for a nice temperature-controlled nap and a shower.” With a resigned sigh, he added, “Hopefully we can wrap this shoot up before I become one with the smells.”

“Hey, you’re Lance, right?”

Whirling around, he saw a short pudgy man wearing a baseball cap, gray sweater, and blue jeans, jogging towards him with an eager expression.

“I am…” he answered cautiously, quickly accessing the guy as an obvious local. “You’re one of the extras, I bet, right?”

“No, no,” the man laughed good-naturedly and held out his hand. “I’m with the local historical society; you guys have me on call about whatever, in regards to the movie. Name is George.”

“Well, George, what can I do for you?” Lance cocked his head, a bemused smile tweaking his mouth upward.

“Well, ah, look,” he said, his face as red as a tomato. “This is probably gonna sound really weird to ya and I would understand if you thought I was a nutcase but, see, ah, my neighbor’s daughter, Elaine, is really head over heels about you.”

“I’m used to that…” Lance tensed, a guarded expression fleeting across his face.

“Yeah, I bet. I’m sorry,” George hurried on, “but, see, I keep hearing her talk about you with her friends and she has been saying that she is gonna kill herself if you don’t go out on a date with her while you’re in town.” Visibly cringing, he held up a hand when Lance opened his mouth. “I know, I know – kids, right? And believe me, I disregarded it the first couple of times, too, but she’s kept on and on and on about it and you know what they tell us nowadays…see something, say something…” Laughing weakly, he looked embarrassed but hopeful.

“So, what do you want me to do about it?” Lance probed wearily.

Turning red again, George swallowed the lump in his throat. “I-I-I was hoping that, ah, maybe, ah, you could talk to her…?”

A hundred thoughts raced through Lance’s mind in the next few seconds. This guy must be nuts if he thought that he was going to get anywhere near the crazy girl! Why should he worry about the wellbeing of an obsessed fan? What did he care if she threatened herself? He didn’t know her. He didn’t get a local paper. He didn’t watch the local news stations. Heck, he’d probably never even know if she hurt herself. She probably wouldn’t do it, anyways. Why would anyone do that?

Yet, oddly enough, he felt some compassion for this guy. True, he didn’t care too much about the girl’s suicidal ravings, but apparently George did and he had a point. See something, say something was the byword of the day and Lance felt a strange responsibility to at least humor him because he had done just that.

“Yeah, sure,” he unbelievingly heard himself say. “I’ll talk to her. Uh, is it okay if I stop by the historical society this afternoon? We’re shooting my next scene tonight so it won’t interfere. You can tell her that I’m researching some stuff for a scene.”

“That’ll work fine!” George looked relieved. “Hey, man, thanks an awful lot. I owe ya!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lance waved him off with a laugh. “Like you say, see something, say something. It’s more than a lot of people do these days.” He held out his hand. “I’ll see you later.”

***

Early in the afternoon, Lance was at the appointed place listlessly thumbing through an old book when a cute athletic-looking blonde teenager walked in, her gaze darting quickly around the room before settling on him. Her stifled half-gasp half-scream snapped him to attention.

“Oh, my gosh,” she squeaked, “I thought Mr. George was kidding when he said you’d be here!”

“Nope.” Lance’s mouth twisted into a lopsided smile. Here we go, he thought. Holding out his hand, he said, “Hey! You’re Elaine, right? I heard that you’re a big fan of my movies.”

“Uh-uh,” the girl nodded dumbly, too star-struck to return his handshake, her eyes growing to saucer size.

Letting his hand drop, he smothered his annoyance and forced himself to be polite; it wasn’t the first time this had happened. “Say, there are some chairs over there. Wanna sit down and talk?”

She deflated for a second, looking confused, but recovered with remarkable speed. “Okay!”

“I heard,” he continued, stretching his long legs out from his chair, “that you really wanted to meet me while I was in town.”

She blushed a pretty pink, answering shyly, “Well, yeah.” Then, more boldly, she blurted out, “I really like you!”

“You do, huh?” he answered, having difficulty keeping a straight face. “Well, what do you like about me?”

“Oh, just everything!” she gushed, suddenly animated. “Your movies are so incredible! My favorite is the Jassasic Park remake. Remember that scene when you had your shirt off by the waterfall? Oh, I almost died! You’re so hot! And you always have the best lines!” she continued. “I’ve memorized all of them, you know? They’re so perfect!”

Wow, he thought, cringing, I don’t even remember all my lines after a shoot is over!

“That’s great,” he laughed weakly, “maybe a little strange, but I-I guess I’m flattered.”

“Strange,” she echoed, “why is it strange? I mean, I love you!”

“Oh, I’m sure you love my characters,” he answered gently, “but they aren’t me. I’m just acting.”

“But—”

“No, no, just listen!” He shook his head. “I mean, that’s why I get the big bucks, right? I’m good at what I do and I’m an actor. I wouldn’t be making the kind of money I do if I did a crap job, right? But that guy who had all the cool lines in my movies…he is a really great writer. Of course, he’s kinda old for you…” He wrinkled his nose, thinking, “Sixty-four now, I think.”

“Look at it this way,” he went on, seeing her befuddled look. “I moved to Hollywood about five years ago, just after college. Then I waited on tables at a bar while I banged on doors looking for someone to hire me, and I finally got really lucky. But it could’ve gone the other way so easily, right? And then you never would’ve heard of me.” He grinned. “Think of me as a knight who’s won a lot of jousting matches. But I could’ve been the other guy. The ones that lost.”

Gripping her shoulders, he stared pointedly into her eyes. “But do you want to know the real me? I’m the guy who got two of his best friends killed in a car accident and then I got into a feud with their brother.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to get into that, but it ended really badly and it’s gonna affect me for the rest of my life. Do you love that guy? I’m also the guy,” he continued, “who got caught up in one those Hollywood scandals because a rival accused me of having an affair with my best friend’s wife.” He wiped a tear off his eye before it slid down his cheek. “It ruined our relationship and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. Do you love that guy?”

Elaine had the decency to look sober. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t heard.”

“Yeah, me too, especially since he passed away before we could clear things up. I didn’t even go to the service because of the scandal.” He shook his head sadly. “You haven’t heard about it, huh? I guess you don’t read tabloids.”

“That’s all fake news,” she answered, wrinkling her nose and flicking her wrist as if to brush it away.

“I’m glad that you know that.” He smiled lightly, then he cleared his throat to get down to business. “Look, I suppose this is kind of awkward for you, sitting here talking like this, but—”

“Oh, no! Not at all.” She shook her head vehemently. “I like talking to you!”

“Yeah, well,” he pushed on, tired of her crazy fan act, “I actually only came because your neighbor George told me that you’d been telling your friends that you were going to kill yourself if I didn’t go on a date with you.”

She was decent enough to turn crimson at his tone. “My friends think I’m nuts…”

“I must look like a knight in shining armor to you, don’t I?” he asked, looking thoughtful. “I’ve got a big fancy glamorous life, everything I want, any time I want it – money, girls, anything, any time. Right?”

She stared, not comprehending, and he went on. “Then your little ole town gets picked as the site of my next big hit and blam, here’s your shot to meet me. The Brothers Grimm couldn’t have scripted a better fairytale. But my life,” he concluded, closing his eyes as vivid memories flashed through his mind, “is not one that you want to get wrapped up in.”

His eyes popped open and he smiled brightly. “You’re a really special lady, Elaine; I know you must be because George came and asked my help when he heard what you told your friends. And those friends thought you were nuts because they love you and don’t want to lose you over me. I’m sure that your family loves you, too. Don’t hurt them by hurting yourself over someone like me.”

He licked his dry lips and stared a hole in her forehead, waiting for her to answer. “Promise?”

“Okay, I promise.”