By Christopher Woods (alias Beregond)

Word Count: 6229

Rating: G (suitable for all audiences)

Summary: A segment of the Unbelievable Stories of Theo MacLinnich, a Homeschooler, and his adventures with the Doctor.

Almost home, that is. We had already dropped by New Earth, and were both given medals of honor by the Governor of New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York (there’s a reason why they only called it New New York). The Doctor made me keep my medal in the TARDIS, though, saying that it contained metals that would simply drive 21st century scientists crazy over trying to figure out where it came from. I was disappointed, but the Doctor is right when it comes to these kinds of things.

But anyway, we were almost home. Personally, I was beginning to think that the TARDIS was so named because it tends to be tardy. Always ending up in the wrong place and time. I don’t know how you would feel about it, but one adventure at a time is enough for me. After all, I (unlike the Doctor) needed some rest. I wasn’t a Time Lord like him (thank goodness!).

To my relief, though, we did make it at the right place. We were only a few days early. And as two Theos running around for even a few days could be potentially dangerous to all of space and time (so the Doctor said), we skipped ahead to finally just the right place. I took my leave of the Doctor and easily slipped back into regular life. It wasn’t until Monday I saw him again.

“Well, at least now I know just how good of a speaker I am.”

It was another Monday, and Frank and I sat across from each other at one of the tables as we talked. He had recently come back from a tournament, and had gotten rewards for his rather controversial speech.

“Yes, and just how careful you need to be,” I replied. “Rhetoric is a dangerous thing, as you have just proven.”

“But think of all the good I could do!” Frank insisted.

“And all the bad,” I countered.

The conversation ended there, as it was time for announcements. Afterwards, though, as we helped to straighten up the rooms, we continued talking, and ended up being some of the last ones there. I realized that I had lost track of the time, and started to head for the stairs, closely followed by Frank. We were turning down yet another hallway (the basement there was full of them) when I felt a breath of wind.

“Is there a door open somewhere?” Frank asked, distracted for a moment. Another gust came.

“Not now, Doctor,” I muttered between my teeth, but it was too late. The TARDIS materialized right in front of us.

“What…?” Frank was entirely confused.

“You start to get used to it,” I tried to explain.

“You mean you’ve seen this before?”

“A couple times.”

The TARDIS door opened, and the Doctor stuck his head out. “Oi! Theodore! I’ve got a lead you may be interested in.”

“What is it?” I asked, curious in spite of myself.

“Alien activity in Roman Britain.”

It was too much too resist. “I’ve got time,” I said, and began to enter the TARDIS.

“Wait, Theo,” Frank grabbed my shoulder. “You don’t have time.”

“Course I do. I was speaking completely literally.”

“Then I’m coming with you.”

“All aboard, if you insist,” said the Doctor rolling his eyes.

Frank followed me into the TARDIS. I closed the door behind him, since I’m sure he had already forgotten entirely about it.

“Did I step through some kind of space portal?” he asked.

“No,” I answered, leaning on the railing and quite enjoying the feeling of telling someone else about the TARDIS. “Your current location is a hallway in the basement of Grace Church. Same as it was before we stepped in. Welcome to the TARDIS.”

“That was supposed to be my speech,” said the Doctor, getting the TARDIS ready for flight.

“Aw, come on, will you grudge me this one time?”

“No,” admitted the Doctor, “Mainly because we have much more interesting things on hand. We’ve got to get to Britain and find these aliens.”

“So aliens actually do exist?” queried Frank, slowly making his way into the TARDIS, gazing all about him.

“I’m proof!” said the Doctor gleefully, turning around and spreading his arms out. He was back at the controls the next second.

“Wait, what?”

“If you put a stethoscope on the right side of his chest, you’ll see what he means,” I explained.

“A heart on the wrong side may be weird, but that doesn’t immediately mean alien,” Frank stated.

“No, it doesn’t,” I agreed. “He has two hearts: one on each side.”

Frank simply stared.

“Hang on!” The Doctor threw the main lever, and our journey through the time vortex began. It only lasted half a minute, but it was enough to disorient Frank even more.

“It’s just some trick, isn’t it?” he asked helplessly.

“Step outside and see for yourself,” replied the Doctor.

Frank opened the door and beheld the streets of Roman London. Not a particularly nice sight, it must be said, but it convinced him anyway. We all stepped out and began to roam.

“So,” began the Doctor, “We need to find the aliens, discover their plan, and thwart it, if it harms humanity, which it most likely does.”

“That hasn’t changed,” smiled Frank.

“What?” I asked.

“All the aliens are still out to kill humankind.”

“Oi, what about me?”

But before anyone could say anything else, we found ourselves surrounded by the most efficient fighting machine in all history: Roman legionaries. Their leader drew his sword.

“Halt!” he cried. “I arrest you in the name of Governor Marcus Appius Bradua for theft and murder!”

“Oh, great,” the Doctor sighed. “I don’t suppose it would help any if I mentioned I happened to be the god Mars?”

“Then we would know you to be the right man. Not only a thief and a murderer, but a fraud as well! Even if Mars did exist, he certainly wouldn’t look like you,” replied the Roman.

“I thought as much.”

Our hands were grabbed and tied behind our backs. The soldiers fell into formation around us, and my first tour of London was given by the Doctor in whispers. He would go on and on about what had happened over here, and what was going to happen over there, and all about the rise and fall of the British Empire. He seemed almost as enthusiastic about it as a patriotic British historian.

“Look,” I said, interrupting his story about Admiral Nelson (not the one we know; this guy lived in the thirty-first century and commanded the British Empire’s fleet of spaceships), “Please tell me you have a plan to get us out of here.”

“Frankly, no.”

Frank and I groaned.

“But I can promise you that we will be able to get out at the first opportunity. I’m good at that.”

Suffice to say, our hopes were hardly raised.

On and on we marched, through the streets of London. The Doctor was silent now. I was thankful for that. Learning about the history and future of a certain place is fine, but I’d rather him be thinking of a way to escape. Hang on, he was probably doing that anyway.

At last, our trek came to an end as we neared the dungeon. Just as I thought. The soldiers marched us down to an empty cell and stuck us in. The cell door clanged to with a sound that sent me into shivers.  The Doctor immediately began pulling the ropes off his wrists. He then untied the ones on Frank and I, “It could be worse. It could be a lot worse. Romans, I can deal with. There,” he said, as the ropes fell to the floor, “Make yourself comfortable.” He proceeded to stretch out on the prison floor.

“Aren’t you going to get us out of here?” Frank asked.

“Not yet.”

“Whyever not?” I broke out, frustrated.

“Because we’re much more likely to find things out if we behave well and stay in here. Despite the fact that it would be child’s play to get out. But then what would be the use? We’d only be thrown in again.”

“Alright, fine.” I acquiesced. “When do you think we’ll find out any more?”

“Our trial, tomorrow morning.”

The Doctor was right about the trial. More guards came, and we were taken to the palace, where the tribunal was being held. There was a large hall, filled with men in togas, and here and there a soldier standing guard. We were taken onto a platform, and there we stood for all to see. The room quieted, and an official came up to us with a scroll.

“Before you begin,” said the Doctor, “I know why we’re here. You think I stole a very valuable item, murdered the guards, and then pretended to be the god Mars, yes?”

“Yes,” replied the official. “It was the Diamond of Lergabus, to be exact. But you know that.”

“Actually, I don’t,” stated the Doctor, a confused look coming over his face. “I’ve never heard of such a thing. I wonder why that is.”

The official interrupted him. “Do you have anything to say in your defense?” he asked.

“I do, actually,” said the Doctor, “Release me and my friends, and we will find the Diamond for you!”

One of the judges began to nod in agreement. The official walked angrily over to him.

“What are you thinking?” he hissed.

“You saw the marks made by the intruder. None of these men could have possibly done that,” answered the judge.

“But are you really going to let them away like that?”

“Of course not. They’ll have a guard.”

“I insist on them having the best guard available: the Centurion Roranicus!”

“If you can get him away from that box of his.” The judge seemed doubtful.

“It will be easy. I will kill him if he doesn’t. And while I’m at it, I might as well have a look at what’s inside that box he so incessantly guards.”

“As you like,” sighed the judge. “Flavius!”

One of the guards saluted. “Sir!”

“Find the Centurion Roranicus and bring him here. Tell him that he will be rewarded if all goes well. If he asks what he is wanted for, tell him that he is needed to guard a criminal by the name of the Doctor and his two companions. You know where to find him.”

“Yes, sir!” Flavius saluted again and left the hall. He wound his way through London, taking faster, if even dirtier, side-paths. He soon came to the outskirts of the city, where there stood a great black box, and in front of it, one lone centurion. Flavius approached him and saluted.

“Centurion Roranicus, sir! Your presence is requested in the Tribunal Hall.”

The Centurion hardly stirred. “I cannot leave my post,” was all he said.

“You are needed to guard the criminal who calls himself the Doctor and his two companions as they search for the stolen Diamond of Lergabus.”

The Centurion looked Flavius straight in the eye. “Show me, Flavius.”

While Flavius was gone, many whispered conversations passed between the official and a man seated on the highest chair in the room, whom I took to be the Governor Marcus himself. I didn’t catch a single word they said, but they both looked very concerned. I had the odd feeling that they rather had the intention of killing us on the spot.

“Don’t worry,” whispered the Doctor, as though he had read my thoughts, “It’s the judges who have the real power here. They can do nothing to us. I hope.” I had been comforted until the last two words, but Roranicus entered shortly after.

His very presence emitted an aura of greatness, and I knew that I saw before me the stuff of legends. Everyone in the room was very respectful of the Centurion, except for the official and Governor. Whenever they glanced in his direction, their faces twisted in a mixture of fear, hatred, and loathing; the only comments they made to him were sneers.

Roranicus walked right up to the Doctor. “You’re not the Doctor.” He said, his voice full of bitter disappointment. “I refuse to help you here.” So saying he turned and began to leave the hall.

“Rory!”

Silence followed the Doctor’s shout. Roranicus stopped abruptly. The Centurion slowly faced the Doctor.

“Who are you?”

“I’m the Doctor. Surely you remember. Bowtie? Fez? Mop? Sonic?”

“When do I begin?” Roranicus asked the judge, his eye never leaving the Doctor.

“This very moment,” the judge replied. “The tribunal is over; for the moment.”

Roranicus approached the judge. “May I choose some other guards to help me?”

“Of course. Take as many as you like.”

Roranicus turned to the guards around the room. “Flavius! Publius! With me!” The guards mentioned fell into formation behind us as the Centurion and the Doctor led the way out of the hall.

“Such the commander, eh, Rory?” the Doctor asked.

“If you really are the Doctor,” Roranicus responded, “Prove it to me. I do not recognize you.”

The Doctor fiddled in his pocket for a moment and pulled out his sonic. “How about this?” he asked, showing it to Roranicus.

“New face, new screwdriver–how do I know you’re not just another Time Lord?”

“Because all the others are stuck at the end of the universe, that’s why!”

“I imagine that wouldn’t be a very nice place to live.”

“No, not really. Now will you finally accept that I am the Doctor?” I could tell that the Doctor was becoming quite frustrated with this Centurion.

“One last thing. If you’re the Doctor, where’s your TARDIS?”

“Somewhere around here. But I need you to take me to the scene of the crime. I’m almost sure that those aliens I detected have something to do with the missing Diamond.”

“I’ll take you there, but I doubt you’ll find anything that might give a clue.”

“I tend to disagree.” Here, the Doctor finally remembered that he hadn’t been travelling alone. “Oh, Rory, meet my two friends; Theo and–and–”

“Frank,” supplied the young man in question.

“Yes, Frank, of course. Theo and Frank.”

“An honor, I’m sure,” Roranicus, or Rory, as I’ll call him from now on, said. He turned back to the Doctor. “Am I getting older, or are your companions getting younger?”

“I happened to run into Theo while hunting some Graske, and he seemed like a bright fellow, so I kept him around. As for Frank, he just happened to be in the area. And yes, you are getting older, though the plastic won’t show it.”

“Hang on,” Rory said, “You’ve already lived through the entire adventure with the Pandorica, haven’t you? You know what happens!”

“Y-yes,” the Doctor hesitated, “but I’m not going to tell you.”

“Don’t tell me, all sorts of bad wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff would happen.”

“That’s the simple way to put it, yes.”

By this time, I was sure that we had crossed practically half of London. Another palace loomed before us, only this one looked richer and grander. Many guards stood before its gates.

“How are we going to get in there?” the Doctor asked.

“After spending sixteen years doing nothing but sitting in front of the Pandorica, I’ve gained a reputation for not caring about anything else, so people generally let me in anywhere, knowing that I won’t do anything to it.”

“But this time is different, eh?”

“If I remember correctly, you’re the one who’s going to do stuff.”

We mounted the steps to the gates, and as Rory had predicted, the guards moved aside to let him pass. We moved from one room to another, until finally entering the room which had held the Diamond. Rory explained the situation.

“It was being displayed on that pillar in the center. Last night, the inhabitants heard a terrific noise, but by the time they arrived, the guards were dead and the Diamond was gone. You can see the marks the thief left behind for yourself.”

We looked around the room. The curtains that had once draped gracefully from the walls were tattered, especially the ones near the single window in the room. The soft couches were torn and scattered around, and the pillar itself was cracked.

“One things for sure,” said the Doctor, “The fight couldn’t have lasted for long.” Everyone except Rory stared at him. “Anything with strength enough to crack that pillar would be able to crush unprepared legionaries like matchsticks.” Another confused look. “Don’t you have matches yet? Anyway, it must have been huge, in order to make such a mess so quickly.” He took out his screwdriver and began examining the room with it. In a few moments, his face had become quite grave. “Not good. Not good at all. The Slitheen were here. They could be anywhere. They could even be…” He trailed off and looked at Publius and Flavius. Sonicking them, he concluded that they weren’t Slitheen after all.

“Hold on, Doctor,” I said, finally getting a word in. “What are these Slitheen?”

“Nasty creatures. Always trying to find some way to destroy this planet. Worse than Graske; they can actually disguise themselves as people, instead of simply taking over people’s minds. But they have left a trail, which the sonic can follow. This should lead us to their base of operations.” The Doctor put the sonic to the ground, walked to the window, and jumped out.

“Wait a minute!” cried Rory, “You’re still my prisoner!” Rory swung his legs over the windowsill and jumped after the Doctor. The rest of us did the same, and found ourselves dashing through the alleys and by-ways of Roman London. A strange sight we must have looked, but the only remarks we ever got were rather angry ones telling us to slow down. But, suddenly, the Doctor halted, and Rory nearly crashed into him.

“Botheration!” cried the Doctor, “Can’t you look where you’re going, Pond?”

“What?” Rory gave the Doctor a confused look.

“Oh, right, sorry, you aren’t a Pond yet. But anyway, I’ve lost the trail. No, don’t beat yourself up, Rory, I lost it before you ran into me. We’ll just have to find another way.”

“I thought the sonic could follow anything,” I said.

“Yes, well, the trail I had was only noticeable because it was left when the Slitheen were in their natural form. It appears that right about here they reassumed their disguise. The trail is now too faint.”

“Well, now what?” Frank asked.

“We’ll just have to go back to the crime scene, see if there’s anything else we can find out.” The Doctor began heading back when he suddenly stopped. “Theo, you know, I didn’t like the look of that official. Or the governor, for that matter. Try to find out where they were last night. Meet me back near the tribunal hall.”

“Publius, Flavius,” called out Rory, “Stay with these two and don’t let them out of your sight. I’m going with Theo.”

“Yes sir!”

Rory and I began walking toward where i thought the main street was, when I abruptly stopped. “Hold on, I have no idea where I’m going. Would you mind leading?”

“Not at all,” said Rory, and turned completely around. We continued walking in silence for a few minutes.

“So,” I said, trying to make conversation, “You know the Doctor from before?”

“You mean the Doctor has never mentioned Amy and I?” Rory asked incredulously.

“No, never.”

Rory sighed. “It must be even longer than I thought.” He paused. “We travelled with the Doctor a few times, until I died and became a Roman, and now Amy’s almost dead and stuck in that box.”

“I have a feeling that it’s really a lot more interesting than that sounds.”

“Well, if you’re one of his companions as well, you can probably guess the rest.”

“It would make a great story, though,” I mused.

“You don’t even know what it is!”

“True, but if your adventures were anything like the ones I’ve had so far, they would make great stories.”

“Only my story isn’t over yet. I still need to see if the Doctor can save Amy. In two thousand years.”

“You’ll never make it!”

“I’m plastic, I can last a lot longer than ordinary people. And besides, Amy needs me to last through it. It’s not like I can just die when she’s almost dead!”

By this time we had reached the governor’s residence. I began to mount the steps, but Rory held me back.

“One thing I’ve learned as a Roman is that if you want to learn something worthwhile about the nobility, the guards are the ones to ask. And to find them, we go to the barracks.”

I followed Rory to a small, unassuming building next to the residence. Rory was again admitted, and we found ourselves in a common room filled with Roman soldiers just basically hanging out. Threading his way between them, Rory went straight to the commanding officer.

“Who was on bedroom duty last night?” he asked.

“That would have been Lucius there,” the officer replied.

“Thank you.” Rory headed over to the soldier the officer had pointed out. “Are you the one who guarded the governor’s room last night?”

“Yes, sir, I am. Why do you ask?”

“I want to know: did you hear anything unusual?”

“The governor was pacing up and down his room long before he went to bed, but nothing else.” Lucius replied.

“Thank you,” Rory said. We began to turn away.

“Wait!” I said, “Is that all you’re going to do?”

“There’s really nothing else we can find out here,” Rory answered. “It’s time we got back to the–” Rory stopped as suddenly as I had earlier as something else crossed his mind. “The Pandorica!” he suddenly yelled, and dashed off. I followed him, having no intent on running away, especially at this particular moment. Before long, we were in the outskirts of London and nearing an area of grass that was flattened, as if something heavy had until recently been there.

“No!” Rory cried out again, and began inspecting the ground. “They’ve taken it!” He suddenly grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me like a mouse. “They’ve taken the Pandorica! They’ve taken Amy!” Dashing off again, Rory was almost out of sight when I finally decided that I should go with him again, or get lost in the streets of London. I had a difficult time keeping up, but managed to keep Rory in sight until we reached the Doctor.

“Doctor!” Rory called. “Doctor! They’ve taken it! I stopped guarding it, and they stole it away! They’ve taken the Pandorica!”

“What?” The Doctor asked in surprise. “That’s not supposed to happen. What’s more it’s not going to happen.”

“I was hoping you’d say something like that,” gasped Rory, “Now let’s go and–”

“I know that’s not going to happen because I’m here, and these two are here, so the world’s obviously not going to end in nineteen ninety-six,” continued the Doctor.

“Wait, what’s this about the world ending in nineteen ninety-six?” I asked, very confused at this point.

“Well, I wouldn’t worry about it because you and Frank–” The Doctor stopped and glanced around. “Actually, start worrying.”

Frank had disappeared.

“Flavius, how could you have simply let him get away?” demanded Rory.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I had my hand on his shoulder all the time. One minute he was there, and the next–he wasn’t,” Flavius struggled to explain.

“As I said,” stated the Doctor, “Start worrying. If we don’t do something about the Pandorica right now, Theo will disappear next, and then me, and you’ll be left all alone to deal with the Slitheen. Actually, I wouldn’t worry about that, because they’d be the next to disappear.”

“How can I simply disappear?” I asked, getting more bewildered every second.

“You would never have existed, because the world would have ended in nineteen ninety-six!” shouted the Doctor. “Now let’s go hunt some Slitheen! Rory, show me where the Pandorica was.”

“This way, Doctor!”

Once more we were off at a run. It seemed that was almost all we had been doing that day, running one way or another. But once more we were at the flattened grass, and both the Doctor and Rory were on their knees, examining it.

“Easy enough to see,” said the Doctor. “It was loaded into a very large cart, and trundled off that way. If we hurry, we could still catch them. Come on!”

Up and running again within moments, the four of us, Rory, Publius, Flavius, and I, followed the Doctor further away from London. Soon, we saw something like a caravan in front of us, which turned out to be several workmen pulling a cart. On the cart was a large, black, perfectly cubical box, that looked to be about eight foot cubed. Following the Doctor, we ran around to the front.

“Slitheen!” called the Doctor, “I demand an audience with you, in twenty-four hours, in the arena.”

The leader of the workmen spoke in reply. “Who are you to command the Slitheen in such a way?”

“I am the Doctor, and if you know anything about me, you know that you’d best do as you’re told.”

“You can’t be the Doctor! The Doctor is imprisoned behind us!”

“No, I’m really not.”

The leader looked puzzled for a few moments. “Fine,” he acquiesced. “We will be there.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you.” The Doctor began to walk away.

“Are you seriously just going to leave the Pandorica with them?” asked Rory.

“At the moment, it’s the only thing we can do. But don’t worry, everything will work out.”

I was having a hard time understanding everything that was going on, but I continued to follow the Doctor, mainly because it was the only way I was ever going to find a way out of this mess. But then, I could always trust the Doctor to get me slap bang into an even worse one. And get me out of that one, too. Basically, I could trust the Doctor to do anything that has anything to do with horrible messes.

“What we need,” said the Doctor, “Are mirrors. Lots of mirrors. Or anything that will reflect light, for that matter.”

“Mirrors?” asked Rory and I simultaneously.

“Yes, mirrors. Can you get enough mirrors for me?”

“How many do you need?”

“About two dozen should be good. And make them nice and large. Curved, too, if possible. Take them to the arena.”

“I can’t leave you, Doctor,” stated Rory.

“Well, this time, you have to.”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, if I leave you, the governor will have my head.”

“Actually, I’ve been thinking, and it may turn out to be the other way around. We may have the governor’s head before this is over.”

“I still can’t leave you,” Rory insisted.

“Fine, then! Come with me!”

“Publius, with me!” commanded Rory, “Flavius, stay with Theo.”

And so we split up again, and began collecting mirrors as fast as we could. Big mirrors, little mirrors, shiny mirrors, dull mirrors, we must have completely emptied London of mirrors by the time we were done. When Flavius and I had arrived at the arena, we saw Rory and the Doctor already there, setting up their mirrors on the seats, and immediately covering them with pieces of cloth.

“Ah, good!” cried the Doctor when he saw us, “More mirrors! Go ahead and put them up, but here,” he tossed us a bundle of cloth pieces, all connected by a string, “Put one of these over each of them when they’re good. Focus them on the area I’ve marked out over there.”

It was slow work, setting up the mirrors, making sure they were focused just right, and finally covering them with the cloth. Very tedious and boring. What made it worse is that the Doctor never told us why we were doing this. I assumed that it was part of his plan against the Slitheen, but I never said anything about it. There was complete silence in the arena as we worked, and I liked it fine that way. This was war work, and one does not simply chat while doing war work.

After what seemed like many hours, the arena was filled with covered mirrors. All of them were attached to the string, which ran all the way around the arena, so both ends of the string would be held in the hands of one person. If you pulled one end, all the mirrors would be uncovered. If you pulled the other end, the mirrors would be covered again. It seemed so simple, but something told me that there was much more to this than it seemed.

“Well, everything’s ready for the Slitheen tomorrow,” said the Doctor. “Let’s go and meet them.”

“Stop, please!” I cried, as the Doctor turned to head for the TARDIS. “I know you may not need sleep, but speaking for myself, I’m totally wiped out, and I would really like it if you let me sleep, so if we could please go to a Roman inn or something so I can get some rest, that would be absolutely wonderful.”

The Doctor hesitated for a moment. “Right!” he said, “Of course! Rory, where are our accommodations?”

“I haven’t really made any,” answered Rory.

“Well then, I guess we’ll just have to make our own. Come on, then, let’s go and find an inn.”

Finding an inn wasn’t hard at all. Finding at least a semi-nice room was not. But I was tired enough to eagerly accept pretty much anything I got, and the smelly room didn’t prevent me from falling asleep almost before my head hit the pillow.

I awoke late the next morning. It was only then that I realized how disgusting the place I was in really was. Not surprisingly, the scene took away my appetite, and I began to look for the Doctor. I met him as I entered the inn’s common room.

“Ah, good, you’re up!” he said.

“What did you do over the night?” I asked curious as to what he did instead of sleep.

“I didn’t wait,” he answered. “A simple little time jump in the TARDIS was all it took.”

“You really don’t like to wait, do you?” I asked.

“No, not really. Now come on, we’re expected.” With that, we left the inn (thank goodness!) and began heading for the arena. Rory and the other Romans were with us, always keeping an eye on us. I could tell that Rory was still slightly suspicious of the Doctor, presumably because the Doctor had looked different when Rory saw him last, but he wouldn’t have looked all that different, would he?

The streets were busy, Roman people going about their Roman business in their own little Roman town. Couldn’t get much more Roman than that. But as we approached the arena, I noticed that fewer and fewer people roamed the streets, until no one was there at all, when we were maybe fifty feet from the arena.

“Could’ve guessed it,” said the Doctor, “Looks like we’ll be having a very private meeting.”

Silence was in the air as we entered. Our mirrors were all still there. Turning aside, the Doctor took Rory to the strings that connected the mirrors and whispered something to him. Rory nodded and took the strings in hand. The Doctor then took out a pair of sunglasses, rejoined us, and walked into the arena. The Slitheen, disguised as Roman soldiers and gladiators, were already there. I also noticed that the circle the Doctor had drawn the previous day was also still there.

“Now then,” said the Doctor, getting the attention of all the Slitheen, “Before we begin, I would like to say that nobody stands in that circle right there, you hear me? Nobody can stand in that circle!” He made this statement almost in the manner of a little kid saying that he had reserved a swing on the playground.

“Is this a trick, Doctor?” asked the Slitheen leader. “If so, we aren’t falling for it.” And to my surprise, they all gathered in that circle.

The Doctor immediately began furious, but gave in. “Fine!” he yelled, still very childish, “Have it your way!” But I caught him turn, lower his sunglasses, and wink at Rory. Facing the Slitheen again, he continued. “You have something that I want, and if you don’t hand it over right now, I will destroy you!”

“You mean the Pandorica, Doctor?” said the Slitheen leader, and laughed. “You’ll never persuade us to give it to you. You were always one for words, anyway. You couldn’t really destroy us.”

“You are thick, aren’t you?” the Doctor asked. “Thicker than those thickity thick heads from Thickton! Yes, I can and will destroy you–with a word. I’ve always liked words, mainly because words win wars.”

“What word, Doctor?” scorned the Slitheen. “Oh, I know what it is! It’s this: ‘Run!’” The Slitheen laughed. “After all, you do that quite often.”

“Yes,” agreed the Doctor, “Running is very good for you. Great exercise. But that wasn’t the word I was thinking of. I’ll give you one more chance: will you or will you not return the Pandorica and the Diamond?”

“The Pandorica will we keep, as it will be of great use to us in the future. As for the Diamond,” continued the Slitheen leader, holding up the object in question, “That shall not be returned either, for it is ours to begin with. If it hadn’t been for some dirty little human thief, we never would have lost it in the first place!”

“So that’s why I’ve never heard of it,” murmured the Doctor. “Well then, if you aren’t going to give up, I shall have to fulfill my threat. Now.”

As soon as the Doctor uttered that word in his quiet but fearsome way, the whole arena was filled with blinding light, and I felt myself being dragged away with great force. Screams and howls of the most hideous kind filled the air, and I smelled burning flesh. I heard the Doctor say something, and almost at once, the light disappeared.

“Theo!” called the Doctor. “Theo! Are you alright?”

“If I’m not, it’s your fault, Doctor,” I responded. “You could have warned me!”

“I thought you would’ve guessed by all our preparations. You mean that you put up all those mirrors and it never once entered into your head what we were doing?”

“I didn’t think about it because I was sure that you would explain it all later!”

“Please, please!” Rory interrupted. “We just stopped yet another alien invasion. Can we have a bit of a celebration? Maybe?”

“Say, Rory, that’s not a bad idea!” I said. “Whaddaya say, Doctor?”

“I think we should find the Pandorica first,” replied the Doctor.

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t have taken care of that myself, Doctor?” asked Rory. “While you were making the speech, I sent Flavius and Publius to get it, assuming the Slitheen would have brought it along. They’ve most likely secured it all ready.”

“Rory! I knew I could trust you to it!”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“I’m still confused about one thing, though,” I said. “What exactly happened just now?”

“I’m starting to see what I’m like,” Rory said.

“Tell me about it,” grumbled the Doctor. “Anyway,” he answered me, “We just fried the Slitheen like you would burn a leaf.”

“And the Diamond?”

“It’s a Diamond! Of course it’s not going to be destroyed that easily! We’ll take it back to the authorities right away.”

Later that day, Rory, the Doctor, and I were gathered outside the TARDIS. Everything had been taken care of, and I still had debate class to attend to.

“Thank you, Doctor,” said Rory. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, perhaps you could have the Pandorica taken to Rome under armed guard. After all, you don’t want these things happening all the time, do you? I don’t know if I could get back in here to fix things up.”

“I will be seeing you again, right?”

“Of course! In another two thousand or so years!”

“That cheers things up alright.”

“Put a bright face on it!” encouraged the Doctor. “It’s not like the universe is going to end.”

“So it does have a happy ending!”

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” The Doctor turned and entered the TARDIS.

I shook hands with Rory. “It’s been good meeting you,” I said. “I only wish I could’ve known you for longer.”

“Ask the Doctor,” Rory replied. “I’m sure he’ll tell you something interesting about me.”

“Ha, I will.” Having nothing more to say, I entered the TARDIS as well.

“So,” I said, “What about Frank?”

“Oh, nothing to fear, he’ll have appeared right where he’s supposed to be.”

“You sure?”

“Sure I’m sure!” said the Doctor, giving me one of those smiles that made you think he was up to something. “Where to next?”

“Home,” I answered. “I think saving the universe once is enough for a day.”