My Caesar and my Empire have I served,

A diplomatic functionary, true

To distant duties, and never unnerved

By greedy Greek or perfidious Jew.

Outside the arca archa have I thought,

Festooned my desk and office with awards;

My Caesar’s honour only have I sought

While sparing for myself but few rewards.

I built with focused care my resume

And filed each memorandum, note, and scrip;

I justly ruled (no matter what they say),

And seldom sent men to the cross or whip.

But, oh! That thing about an open vault –

I never got it.  And why was that my fault?