~ By Seth Figment

Reader Advisory: themes of suicide

After being greeted and brought to the afterlife by Fantine’s spirit, Valjean wanders away from the crowd and encounters someone he never thought he would see again. Looking over at the bishop and Fantine, he smiles before turning, withdrawing from the crowd.

Walking through the brightly lit streets of Paris, Valjean can barely believe his eyes. Never before has he seen the city glow like this. Closing his eyes, he simply lets his feet steer him wherever they may go.

“… Jean Valjean…”

Sure that he just heard his name, Valjean stops in his tracks. Opening his eyes, he is met by the dark gloom of a tunnel, the bright ethereal light of the streets completely gone. A shiver races up his spine from the frigid cold seemingly encompassing the place. Shuddering, he feels a sense of heavy uneasiness settle low in his guts.

Moving swiftly forward, Valjean hurries through the tunnel in the direction he thinks the voice came from. Reaching the end, he freezes, staring – he can’t believe what he is seeing. “Javert?”

As he watches the inspector gaze up at the night sky, Valjean notices that he is standing up on the edge of the bridge. Frowning, Valjean starts to walk towards him. “Inspector, what are you doing?”

Not seeming to hear him, Javert simply lowers his gaze to the river before he starts to lean forward.

“Javert!” Rushing forward, Valjean reaches out, feeling the rush of air from the coat tail graze past his fingers.

Leaning over the parapet, Valjean watches, stunned, as Javert’s body gets swept away by the water. For a moment he simply stares before he pushes himself away from the parapet and swiftly moves into action. Running to the stairs leading down to the riverside, he’s barely taken three steps when he suddenly hears Javert’s voice.

“Who is this man?  What sort of devil is he? To have me caught in a trap, and choose to let me go free?”

With wide eyes, Valjean looks up to see Javert at the bottom of the stairs. In disbelief, Valjean holds out a hand towards him. “How?

Staring down at the steps, Javert slowly walks up. “It was his hour at last, to put his seal on my fate.”

Lowering his hand, Valjean frowns in confusion. “What?”

“Wipe out the past and wipe me clean off the slate. All it would take was a flick of his knife.”

Swallowing, Valjean watches as Javert comes to a stop a couple of steps below him.  “Vengeance was his…” Face turning up, Javert stares grimly straight ahead.

Concerned, Valjean once more reaches for Javert. “Inspector?”

“And he gave me back my life!” Eyes blazing, Javert suddenly starts to move again.

Quickly stepping to the side, Valjean presses himself to the wall. “Who did?” He can’t help but ask as he turns to follow Javert.

Not answering, Javert strides across the bridge with quick steps. “Damned if I’ll live in the debt of a thief. Damned if I’ll yield at the end of the chase. I am the law and the law is not mocked. I’ll spit his pity right back in his face.”

Slowing his step, Valjean feels something horrible start to churn in his stomach.

Stilling, Javert turns to stare out over the river. “There is nothing on earth that we share. It is either Valjean or Javert!”

Taken off guard, Valjean stops completely, looking over at Javert with worried eyes. “Me?”

But before he can contemplate it further, Javert suddenly steps up on the parapet.

“Javert!” Rushing forward, Valjean is just about to grab him when Javert turns sharply and they almost collide. Jerking his hand back, Valjean quickly takes a step back, afraid he’ll cause the inspector to lose his balance and fall. Looking up, he is met by Javert staring right down at him.

“How I can now allow this man to hold dominion over me? This desperate man whom I have hunted. He gave me my life. He gave me freedom. I should have perished by his hands. It was his right. It was my right to die as well. Instead I live. But I live in hell.”

Shaking his head, Valjean hesitatingly starts to reach out. “No, Javert. No.”

Closing his eyes, Javert turns his head. “And my thoughts fly apart. Can this man be believed? Shall his sins be forgiven? Shall his crimes be reprieved?”

Slowly edging closer, Valjean tries to reach for Javert once more, but just when he’s about to take hold of the inspector’s arm, he moves. Withdrawing his hand Valjean watches, concerned, as Javert paces back and forward on the parapet.

“And must I now begin to doubt? Who never doubted all these years? My heart is stone and still it trembles. The world I have known is lost in shadow.”

Frowning, Valjean finally takes notice of what Javert is wearing. “That uniform…” Frown smoothing out, he suddenly remembers. “The sewers.”

“Is he from heaven or from hell?” Staring down, Javert looks straight at Valjean without actually seeing him.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Valjean meets Javert’s gaze. “When you let me go.”

“And does he know. That granting me my life today. This man has killed me even so?”

Unable to break Javert’s stare, Valjean feels something clench around his heart, choking him. “I did this to you?”

As if in response to his words, Javert briefly closes his eyes before turning and looking up at the sky. “I am reaching, but I fall. And the stars are black and cold. As I stare into the void. Of a world that cannot hold. I’ll escape now from that world. From the world of Jean Valjean. There is nowhere I can turn. There is no way to go on!” Lowering his gaze to the river, he starts to lean forward.

“No!” Rushing forward, Valjean reaches for Javert. Getting a hold of the inspector’s wrist, he pulls him back, only for him to fall limply back into his arms. “Javert!” 

Moving a hand up to the side of the man’s pale face, Valjean’s fingers meet cold lifeless flesh. Falling to his knees, he stares, devastated, at the blank dead face of the inspector. “No.”

Feeling cold water dampen his clothes, Valjean watches as water starts to drip from Javert before he seemingly dissipates, turning into cold river water. Kneeling in the puddle of murky water, Valjean stares blankly at his empty hands before clenching his fist tightly.

Standing up, he determinedly starts to walk over to the stairs leading down to the riverside…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Feeling completely drained, Valjean sits down, slumping exhaustingly against the side of the parapet. Closing his eyes, he rests his head against the cold stone.

He has tried everything.

Holding Javert back.

Shouting and begging. Pleading on his bare knees.

Standing in his way.

Walking away. Trying to forget.

He’s seen him die so many times.

Seen him turn into nothing but dark river water.

Felt him die so many times

And every death just keeps piling up. Weighing down on him. And he just can’t any more.

Taking in a shaky breath, Valjean feels a cold tear fall down his cheek.

Hearing Javert’s voice drift over, Valjean swallows heavily and sits still and listens. Since he found the inspector, he never really took the time to truly listen to everything Javert has been saying – never taking the time to think about anything for more than a moment.  

It is then that he hears it. 

Opening his eyes, Valjean looks up at the stars. “Can it be that simple?”

Standing up, he turns to momentarily stare at the parapet before he swallows and mumbles, “It is either Valjean or Javert.”

Stepping up on the parapet, Valjean closes his eyes and starts to lean forward like he’s seen Javert do a dozen times over, only to suddenly get grabbed and pulled back. Staring transfixed at the hand holding his arm, Valjean doesn’t dare to look up or even move, afraid that it is some kind of trick. An illusion.

Then for the first time since he stepped onto the bridge, he hears that sombre baritone direct a question at him.

“Monsieur, what were you doing?”

Eyes shooting up from the hand, Valjean momentary stares at Javert’s grim face before he promptly pulls the man into a tight embrace. Pressing himself flush up against the inspector, Valjean hugs him tightly. Grinning like a fool, he feels tears sting his eyes. “It’s really you.”

Not recognising that the man is Valjean, Javert stands stiffly while the stranger hugs him and mumbles nonsense.

“Please let this be it. No more. Don’t turn to river water. Please.”

For a second, Javert feels cold phantom waves envelop him and a chill travel up his spine. Frowning, he shakes his head at the ridiculous feeling and tries to get out of the stranger’s grasp, but he simply tightens his hold.

Placing a hand on the stranger’s shoulder, he tries to push him away. “Monsieur, let go of me.”

Somehow the man’s hold tightens further and Javert hears him desperately plead. “Please don’t jump.”

Frown deepening, Javert struggles harder to get out of the stranger’s grip when suddenly recognition strikes him and he realises who it is.

“Let go of me, Valjean.”

“Inspector, I-”

At the sound of his name, Valjean’s grip loosens and Javert takes the opportunity to push away from him. “Leave me, Valjean.”

“No. I can-”

Seeing Valjean’s hand reach out for him, Javert quickly steps back. “Why do you haunt me like this?”

Hand dropping, Valjean hesitatingly takes a step towards Javert. “Inspector, I didn’t-”

Closing his eyes, Javert turns away. “Just leave me be.” Pausing briefly, he swallows his last bit of pride. “Please.”

Stepping back, Valjean glances between Javert and the tunnel leading off the bridge when he catches sight of something in the corner of his eye.

Walking over to the parapet, Valjean looks out towards the horizon before softly calling the inspector’s name. “Javert.”

Letting out a resigned breath, Javert turns to look at Valjean and is met by the light of the rising sun.

Walking over to the other man, Javert stops next to him.

Gazing at the sunrise, Javert feels the rays warm his face when suddenly an equally warm hand comes to rest atop of his.

“It’s a new day, Javert.”

Glancing over at Valjean, Javert takes a moment to inspect the man’s face. Eyes closed, Valjean is still facing the sunrise, the light giving his face a warm glow. Inspecting it, Javert can’t see a single trace of deceit or malevolence, only a diminutive serene smile in an open honest face.

Briefly Javert wonders if this man is really Valjean, for how could he ever have thought this man irredeemable. Nothing but a thief.

As Javert lets his eyes follow the profile of Valjean’s face, he feels something clench in his chest.

Turning back to the sunrise, Javert swallows, clearing his throat. “So it seems.”

---

Image Credit: Les Miserables 2012