An Author’s Note

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~ by Avellina Balestri

To each and every one of you

Who feels my breathing through my words,

Words fueled but not consumed by the fire in the head…

I give you my heart and my hand.

Words into me, and out of me, 

Before and behind me,

And all in a circle around me,

Enlivening me

Permeating me

As the soul sings eternally, 

Causing mortal flesh to dance

For it is lit by the Torch of Life,

And so we are all here Alive…

The dance of fingers upon letters and signs

Symbols of a deeper knowing

Borne deep in the womb of our true selves

Wrenched out of us by the conscious “I”,

The knowing of ourselves, and our bleeding out

Into each other, soul-bleeding, soul-infusing…

Who are we, children of the stars?

Who are we, children of the soil?

We are One with the Spirit

And the Word

With our words, warmly wrought

Sometimes with laughter, or with tears,

Weaving stories, hopes and fears

Of hearts in anguish we wish to heal

Of souls in turmoil we wish to save,

Of a Vulcan, with his logic –

Will he find true wisdom?

Of a half-man with his cunning –

Will he be made whole?

Of a Death-Eater haunted by death –

Will Love win out the stronger?

We wish upon the blessed stars

That run through us now as blood

That we, who give the universe a face,

May work with light and stir with fire

To live our lives in such a way

That we are reconciled to all –

To the depths of our own darkness

To the brokenness of brothers,

To the creative energies,

And to the hour of our death

So I will tell my tales while the heart pounds in me

I will count them worthy to the last day

My small flickering self, put out to be felt

Like a candle in the window, welcoming the traveler

My small self, by universal self, all of myself…

My laughing self, my sob-wrenched self, my bloodied self…

All of me you may have, hands outstretched

I will hold nothing back from you

 I will share it with you…

The tears, the hurt, the twisting

The scorn, the sorrow, and the shock

The loss you feel cannot be filled

Except with strains of melancholy

I will spin for you those strains

For they may melt the stones

And crack the scales of the heart

But I will also share with you…

The laughter, the joy, the beauty

The glimpses of some dream we had

Before our waking

Our messy, honest, imperfect, giggling selves

Oh, I love you…let me hold you to my heart…

I will pour out like the song is poured out

And stripped as the corn is stripped

For every day is a reconciling

To consummation

When my time is done

And all my stories told

And you may know

The eternal part of me has touched you

Is touching you, as yours is touching me

And that whatever love is in me still,

Infused, I hope, with star-shot fire

Loves you in words

No mortal tongue can tell


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