The dawn chill of autumn,
Causing fog at the mouth when we speak
–
The pale sliver of sunlight,
Turning the spider webs to crystal dream-catchers
–
The amber hay bales in the fields,
Surrounded by a halo of hovering particles
–
The corn drying on the stalks, crisp and crunchy,
Forming a maze for children’s games
–
The old barns on the hills, chipped and decrepit,
Like the haunted houses in campfire tales
–
The goldenrod, dancing in the wind,
Holding their blonde heads high in the meadow
–
The heavy mist in the valley
Swirling ‘round trees once gay green, now elegant orange
–
There is so much life, and yet beneath the surface
The sting of death threatens
–
The bite in the air suggests it,
Piercing clothing to make one shiver
–
There is a stillness settling over the earth
Like the first and last day of creation
–
The birds’ songs are softer
Like Elfin lays lamenting a fading glory
–
The color of the leaves is bursting bright
But will soon turn to blood, wither, and fall
–
The moments seem to crawl by
Like the spread of frost across a window pane
–
The nights come suddenly, like a thief
Without the summer sun to ward them off
–
They are heavier now
Like the winter blankets taken from attic chests
–
My soul is burdened
By an awareness of aloneness
–
As empty as a jack-o-lantern
With a nightmarish expression of despair
–
As hollow as the eye-sockets
Of a moldering skull
–
As meaningless as the echo
Of cawing crows flying over the pumpkin clusters
–
I long for fire instead of ice
For understanding instead of confusion
–
For the embrace of loved ones long gone
Instead of my own arms braced against the cold
–
But most of all, I long for God
–
To ask to feel the presence of Him
Is a thing that is known to wound
–
Agony comes with ecstasy
Even for the saints, among whom I hold no place
–
Brilliance is blinding and searing
When it pierces the smothering blackness
–
But I would take it, nonetheless
–
Sink me into fire, plunge me into ice,
But do not let me wander alone in shadows
–
Let us have a place all to ourselves
Where I can lay my head on Your breast
–
Where I may hear your voice whispering
Out of the gentle breeze, no longer chilling
–
Let us be lover and beloved in the depth of the night
And let not my own self separate us
–
For You are the Love of Loves
The delight of all things, the breath of life
–
Let me at least tend the wounds
That I caused you to receive, as a handmaid
–
Let me feel the peace that comes with fullness
For an instant, to light the winter’s dark
–
Be the flame of autumn in this changing, chilling world
And in my trembling heart
–
It is all I need
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